Saturday, December 15, 2012
We cannot make sense of the shooting in Newtown Connecticut yesterday. We have no understanding of the events that led a madman to take the lives of 28 people, mostly kindergarteners. It is incomprehensible. I haven't yet wrapped my mind around the evil that presented itself in a most graphic manner. One act that brought horror.
We can respond with fear, trepidation and anger. Seems natural when faced with such a violent end to innocent lives. Of course we are outraged, ready to strike out forcefully against any threat to our own security. We react with the innate self-preservation actions and feelings. These are not incorrect or socially irresponsible.
But there are alternative responses we can consider. We can react to this cloud of evil by shining so much light and love in the world that darkness is obliterated. We will not reverse the actions taken on Friday by the shooter, but we don't have to allow darkness to beget more darkness. The way to push away evil is to fight it with LOVE.
We can show love to our families, our friends, a senior in line at Shop Rite, a pierced teen at Game Stop or animals displaced by Hurricane Sandy. We can change our thinking when our automatic response to a sarcastic comment from a frienemy is with snarky comeback. We can choose to overlook a slight by a sister-in-law or a mistake by a waitress at Applebees.
We can make a donation to a charity where we feel a connection. We can pray for those experiencing pain of all kinds. We can let someone else have the close parking spot at Toys R Us. We can be present in our day, being aware of nuances we may otherwise miss. One simple act can bring about positive energy.
These are all choices. They may feel unnatural and require conscious effort. But be reassured that each small act of kindness shines a glimmer of light into the world, obliterating even a small bit of darkness somewhere. Do it as a way to honor the lives lost on Friday. Our combined efforts will create a glow large enough to be seen all around the world.
What will you do this weekend to light a spark?
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Katie Meyler
Monday, December 10, 2012
Saturday night the Chase American Giving Awards were on NBC. Were you watching? It was so exciting to to watch Katie Meyler and the More Than Me organization win the top prize of $1 Million!
I had the pleasure of having Katie Meyler come to a Heartworks meeting last year.
Here is Katie (2nd from the left, wearing red) with our Heartworks ladies.
Let me tell you a little about Katie--despite growing up in a mostly-wealthy town, she had a difficult childhood. She says she was the "poor" family in town. The family who would receive garbage bags of used clothing at the back door from anonymous donors. Her mother struggled to raise her three children alone.
Katie wanted to find her way in the world. She took a trip to Haiti and fell in love with helping people. She had an awakening and realized that her childhood had been luxury in comparison to the lives of so many in the world!
Many girls she found on a subsequent trip to Liberia were orphans and lacked even basics like clean drinking water. Girls as young as 8 were brought into prostitution because it afforded them an income they otherwise would be without.
Katie was resolved to find a way to come back to Liberia and help get little girls off the streets and into school. More Than Me was born a short time later. Katie works tirelessly and constantly gathering support for the More Than Me Foundation. See more of her story here:
http://youtu.be/Ue7MMHCyxXA
When she came to my Heartworks meeting, she spoke frankly and passionately about her experiences and what she is doing to help girls get off the street and into school. What a genuine, positive force in the world! Everyone at the meeting was touched by her story, her honesty and her desire to change.
When Katie found out that she was one of 25 organizations in the finals for the Chase American Giving Awards, she began a 24 hour, 7-day a week campaign to generate votes for More Than Me. This woman has barely slept, barely eaten while pleading for votes.
How wonderful to see the result of her efforts: being awarded the highest prize from Chase--$1 Million to help get more girls into schools in Liberia!! Congratulations!!
To learn more about More Than Me, visit www.morethanme.org.
To learn more about Heartworks,visit
www.njheartworks.org
Saturday night the Chase American Giving Awards were on NBC. Were you watching? It was so exciting to to watch Katie Meyler and the More Than Me organization win the top prize of $1 Million!
I had the pleasure of having Katie Meyler come to a Heartworks meeting last year.
Here is Katie (2nd from the left, wearing red) with our Heartworks ladies.
Katie grew up in a town nearby and the founder of Heartworks, Megan McDowell has been a supporter of Katie's efforts for a long time.
Let me tell you a little about Katie--despite growing up in a mostly-wealthy town, she had a difficult childhood. She says she was the "poor" family in town. The family who would receive garbage bags of used clothing at the back door from anonymous donors. Her mother struggled to raise her three children alone.
Katie wanted to find her way in the world. She took a trip to Haiti and fell in love with helping people. She had an awakening and realized that her childhood had been luxury in comparison to the lives of so many in the world!
Many girls she found on a subsequent trip to Liberia were orphans and lacked even basics like clean drinking water. Girls as young as 8 were brought into prostitution because it afforded them an income they otherwise would be without.
Katie was resolved to find a way to come back to Liberia and help get little girls off the streets and into school. More Than Me was born a short time later. Katie works tirelessly and constantly gathering support for the More Than Me Foundation. See more of her story here:
http://youtu.be/Ue7MMHCyxXA
When she came to my Heartworks meeting, she spoke frankly and passionately about her experiences and what she is doing to help girls get off the street and into school. What a genuine, positive force in the world! Everyone at the meeting was touched by her story, her honesty and her desire to change.
When Katie found out that she was one of 25 organizations in the finals for the Chase American Giving Awards, she began a 24 hour, 7-day a week campaign to generate votes for More Than Me. This woman has barely slept, barely eaten while pleading for votes.
How wonderful to see the result of her efforts: being awarded the highest prize from Chase--$1 Million to help get more girls into schools in Liberia!! Congratulations!!
To learn more about More Than Me, visit www.morethanme.org.
To learn more about Heartworks,visit
www.njheartworks.org
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Blanket of Kindness
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
People stopping to give hot coffee to the linemen from all over the US, neighbors cutting trees for neighbors, groups gathering boxes of diapers to bring to those displaced by the storm...all of these are examples of extraordinary kindness in the days and weeks following Hurricane Sandy. In many ways we have been blanketed with kindness.
What are YOUR experiences with kindness during this stressful, difficult time? Here are some inspiring, heart-warming stories shared by the ladies of Heartworks:
On the Wednesday after the storm, after we’d found help to clear some of the twelve 50-100 ft. trees that were down and blocking our lane, we woke to see a family friend climbing through the downed trees and wires to come check on us and make sure we were okay. He had brought his entire family in the car with him and it was such a wonderful sight to see his friendly face wash over with relief as he saw us come out of the house to greet him. These same friends offered up their home as a place for us to do laundry, they had us over for dinner one night and allowed me to work out of their dining room, as I had no internet access at home. They offered some sense of normalcy in what was otherwise a crazy time.
My husband was able to use a saw on the tree that was blocking our driveway, but we had wires dangling from trees partially blocking our driveway and the road. Before DPW could even get to our house, a neighbor came on his back hoe and took care of it.
Also, my electrician was at our house an hour after we called him in order to re-attach the electrical mast that had been ripped from the house. He did this the day after the storm hit, so that whenever JCP&L got to our house, we would be ready for them.
We had a ski team meeting in the Poconos, and I asked anyone coming to the meeting if they would like to donate any supplies that I could bring back to NJ. My husband and I then dropped these off at Trinity United Methodist Church in Hackettstown.
PD
As I receive more stories of kindness received, I will post them here! Feel free to add yours in the comments.
People stopping to give hot coffee to the linemen from all over the US, neighbors cutting trees for neighbors, groups gathering boxes of diapers to bring to those displaced by the storm...all of these are examples of extraordinary kindness in the days and weeks following Hurricane Sandy. In many ways we have been blanketed with kindness.
What are YOUR experiences with kindness during this stressful, difficult time? Here are some inspiring, heart-warming stories shared by the ladies of Heartworks:
On the Wednesday after the storm, after we’d found help to clear some of the twelve 50-100 ft. trees that were down and blocking our lane, we woke to see a family friend climbing through the downed trees and wires to come check on us and make sure we were okay. He had brought his entire family in the car with him and it was such a wonderful sight to see his friendly face wash over with relief as he saw us come out of the house to greet him. These same friends offered up their home as a place for us to do laundry, they had us over for dinner one night and allowed me to work out of their dining room, as I had no internet access at home. They offered some sense of normalcy in what was otherwise a crazy time.
We were also very blessed two days later when another family friend, who was also without power, offered to come over and use his chainsaw to cut away much of the big tree that had taken down the telephone pole, both of which were blocking our driveway. I was so touched at his kindness, my kids were thrilled to be able to play with his kids and, thanks to the generator we had, I was relieved to be able to offer them a warm meal and a hot shower.
There were many acts of kindness I saw or heard of during the aftermath of the hurricane. Despite the inconveniences, I was came out of our 12 days without power feeling very, very lucky.
BP
Also, my electrician was at our house an hour after we called him in order to re-attach the electrical mast that had been ripped from the house. He did this the day after the storm hit, so that whenever JCP&L got to our house, we would be ready for them.
We had a ski team meeting in the Poconos, and I asked anyone coming to the meeting if they would like to donate any supplies that I could bring back to NJ. My husband and I then dropped these off at Trinity United Methodist Church in Hackettstown.
PD
As I receive more stories of kindness received, I will post them here! Feel free to add yours in the comments.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Hurricane Sandy
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Here we are, 10 days after the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. We were warned for a week or more to prepare for the "storm of the century". They told us to get flashlights, store water, get firewood, and tie down anything in the yard. What the experts did not tell us was that there is no feasible way to prepare for what we have faced.
To the casual observer, ten days without power is inconvenient, but not so bad. After all, prior to the 1880's EVERYONE lived without electricity. One should be able to get by with a fireplace, gas grill, lanterns, bottled water, food from a can, etc, right? Well, experts, this is not 1879 when many homes had a fireplace in each bedroom, had a wood stove for heat and cooking, had a large kitchen fireplace with cast iron cooking pots, a well to get fresh water, and kerosene lanterns to light the home.
The reality in 2012 is this, as much as we followed the experts' advice, all of my stored water doesn't help the 19 year old girl, 17 year old girl, 14 year old boy and and 11 year old boy from Long Valley who lost their mom and dad the hurricane. Their parents were driving a pickup truck home with the two boys sleeping in the back seat when a wind gust brought a 100' tree down on the cab, killing both the mother and father. The 19 year old daughter is putting her college dreams on hold to care for her younger siblings.
To help this family, please check the link here:
http://www.wishuponahero.com/wishes/?id=1316547&fb_action_ids=4587602444642&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%224587602444642%22%3A406332256107290%7D&action_type_map=%7B%224587602444642%22%3A%22og.recommends%22%7D&action_ref_map
Perhaps our town doesn't look like Seaside Heights or Brick or Staten Island with the complete devastation found there, but it is NOT just a few trees down in yards here either. All the carefully stacked firewood and rows of non-perishables did not help those who were forced to leave their homes in search of heat, laundry facilities and warm food.
Do you think this is only affecting wealthy families with vacation homes wiped off the face of the Jersey Shore? I can assure you that there are many regular joes who left home for the mother-in-law's because they needed to sleep and shower and get back to work! No one wants to leave their home in the aftermath of a super storm...they do it because they have young children and the night time temperatures are in the 20's! They do it because gas to run generators is causing 2 hr waits and fights at the gas stations. They do it because lack of ability to communicate (due to no Internet, no phones, no electric) in this rural area makes people feel isolated and alone. They do it because if they don't work they don't get paid. They do it because they are out of clean clothes to wear and clean dishes to use.
They are the lucky ones...some have no where to go and have to stick it out here. Those who have generators aren't exactly living large either...some are only running refrigerators. Many generators can only take the chill off the house, not heat it to a comfortable temperature. Then there is the aforementioned trouble getting gas. I shudder to think of conditions for those without generators!
If you are a Long Valley resident affected by the storm, my sympathies are with you. The response by the power company is unacceptable, especially in light of last year's debacle with Irene. We have demanded better and been promised better.
If you are from another part of the country, please realize that the media coverage is missing many areas affected by the storm. We may not have had flooding like the lower lying shore regions, however there are many still living with the consequences of this act of nature.
Here we are, 10 days after the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. We were warned for a week or more to prepare for the "storm of the century". They told us to get flashlights, store water, get firewood, and tie down anything in the yard. What the experts did not tell us was that there is no feasible way to prepare for what we have faced.
To the casual observer, ten days without power is inconvenient, but not so bad. After all, prior to the 1880's EVERYONE lived without electricity. One should be able to get by with a fireplace, gas grill, lanterns, bottled water, food from a can, etc, right? Well, experts, this is not 1879 when many homes had a fireplace in each bedroom, had a wood stove for heat and cooking, had a large kitchen fireplace with cast iron cooking pots, a well to get fresh water, and kerosene lanterns to light the home.
The reality in 2012 is this, as much as we followed the experts' advice, all of my stored water doesn't help the 19 year old girl, 17 year old girl, 14 year old boy and and 11 year old boy from Long Valley who lost their mom and dad the hurricane. Their parents were driving a pickup truck home with the two boys sleeping in the back seat when a wind gust brought a 100' tree down on the cab, killing both the mother and father. The 19 year old daughter is putting her college dreams on hold to care for her younger siblings.
To help this family, please check the link here:
http://www.wishuponahero.com/wishes/?id=1316547&fb_action_ids=4587602444642&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%224587602444642%22%3A406332256107290%7D&action_type_map=%7B%224587602444642%22%3A%22og.recommends%22%7D&action_ref_map
Perhaps our town doesn't look like Seaside Heights or Brick or Staten Island with the complete devastation found there, but it is NOT just a few trees down in yards here either. All the carefully stacked firewood and rows of non-perishables did not help those who were forced to leave their homes in search of heat, laundry facilities and warm food.
Do you think this is only affecting wealthy families with vacation homes wiped off the face of the Jersey Shore? I can assure you that there are many regular joes who left home for the mother-in-law's because they needed to sleep and shower and get back to work! No one wants to leave their home in the aftermath of a super storm...they do it because they have young children and the night time temperatures are in the 20's! They do it because gas to run generators is causing 2 hr waits and fights at the gas stations. They do it because lack of ability to communicate (due to no Internet, no phones, no electric) in this rural area makes people feel isolated and alone. They do it because if they don't work they don't get paid. They do it because they are out of clean clothes to wear and clean dishes to use.
They are the lucky ones...some have no where to go and have to stick it out here. Those who have generators aren't exactly living large either...some are only running refrigerators. Many generators can only take the chill off the house, not heat it to a comfortable temperature. Then there is the aforementioned trouble getting gas. I shudder to think of conditions for those without generators!
If you are a Long Valley resident affected by the storm, my sympathies are with you. The response by the power company is unacceptable, especially in light of last year's debacle with Irene. We have demanded better and been promised better.
If you are from another part of the country, please realize that the media coverage is missing many areas affected by the storm. We may not have had flooding like the lower lying shore regions, however there are many still living with the consequences of this act of nature.
Monday, October 22, 2012
BOO Baskets
October 22, 2012
You can feel the crispness in the air. The leaves are resplendent shades of amber, vermillion, sunset, cabernet and chartreuse. It must be October. For Heartworks, that means it is time to scatter joy around town in the form of BOO baskets. Heartworkers nominated families and individuals to receive these baskets of happiness and so we made 16 this year.
All items for the baskets were donated by the generous members of Heartworks. We had everything from Halloween decorations, crafts, pencils, candy, cookies, crackers, pumpkins, lip balms, and plastic spiders! You can just imagine the joy and surprise of those who receive them!
Below are photos of the BOO baskets. The first is our junior Heartworks helper, Jill, who helped pack, wrap and deliver the baskets.
The next is the goodies packed in the car, ready to go to homes across Long Valley!
If YOU have any suggestions for ways to add some kindness to someone's day...contact me!
October 22, 2012
You can feel the crispness in the air. The leaves are resplendent shades of amber, vermillion, sunset, cabernet and chartreuse. It must be October. For Heartworks, that means it is time to scatter joy around town in the form of BOO baskets. Heartworkers nominated families and individuals to receive these baskets of happiness and so we made 16 this year.
All items for the baskets were donated by the generous members of Heartworks. We had everything from Halloween decorations, crafts, pencils, candy, cookies, crackers, pumpkins, lip balms, and plastic spiders! You can just imagine the joy and surprise of those who receive them!
Below are photos of the BOO baskets. The first is our junior Heartworks helper, Jill, who helped pack, wrap and deliver the baskets.
The next is the goodies packed in the car, ready to go to homes across Long Valley!
If YOU have any suggestions for ways to add some kindness to someone's day...contact me!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Simple Pleasures
September 26, 2012
Ahh, the joy of crunching leaves! Or a child's infectious laugh. How about a gorgeous sunrise or sunset? Each of these simple pleasures, if we take the time to notice and appreciate them, can bring such joy to our lives.
I know that life brings many demands, pressures and stresses. I have days when I'd like to pull the sheets up over my head and "call in sick". Everyone has demands on time, money and resources.
One dear friend wonders how she can possibly finish her "to do" list. Another lovely lady carves out family time by doing work-related projects in the wee hours of the morning. I sometimes have this overwhelming feeling like I want to crumple into a heap on the floor and cry. There's so much to do and not all of it is pleasant. The pressures of life sometimes seem to have the upper hand in the daily battle.
Take for instance, those who are dealing with illness, caring for an elderly parent, experiencing loss, dealing with behavioral issues with a child, dealing with betrayal, stressing over unemployment, battling depression or handling interpersonal conflicts. On TOP of the regular day to day duties, nearly everyone has some extenuating circumstance which provides additional pressure.
Most situations are passing and temporary. As the saying goes, the only constant in life is change. I can't tell you how many times I've found refuge in that!
When the proverbial dark cloud lingers over my head, I employ a number of tools to keep myself from ending up in a heap on the floor. One such tool is appreciating simple pleasures.
I LOVE the gleam of sunlight through colored glass, so I keep colored Mason jars in the kitchen where they'll catch the light. As I discussed in a previous blog, MUSIC can be a mood changer for me. If I hear the right song...I go from gray to sunny! I love to watch birds in the yard and enjoy their songs. I love the scent of apples. The feel of soft velvet and silk in my hand makes me smile. How about the taste of gooey cinnamon rolls? Or, OR coconut cream pie? Can you tell I'm getting excited? Then there's the hug of a child who just wanted to be close. The "no conversation needed" eye contact with your spouse. All of these are simple pleasures which add so much joy to my life.
I am sure your list of joy-inducing things is as diverse as the universe. For some, a wagging dog tail is all it takes. For others a good workout brings a smile. Perhaps discovering a treasure in an antique store gets your adrenaline pumping. Others find joy in a glass of good Cabernet and some aged cheese. (That sounds pretty amazing to me too!) A walk on the beach or by a stream might be a mood booster for you. It can be as diverse as knitting, rock climbing, playing piano, photographing nature or mountain biking...whatever it takes to add a spot of happy to your day.
When you are feeling down, try pursuing some simple pleasures to take an active role in diverting your attention away from negativity. These need not cost a dime. They need not take much time either. Just a conscious decision on your part to find pleasure no matter what the situation.
Do you have favorite simple pleasures? Please share some with me!
September 26, 2012
Ahh, the joy of crunching leaves! Or a child's infectious laugh. How about a gorgeous sunrise or sunset? Each of these simple pleasures, if we take the time to notice and appreciate them, can bring such joy to our lives.
I know that life brings many demands, pressures and stresses. I have days when I'd like to pull the sheets up over my head and "call in sick". Everyone has demands on time, money and resources.
One dear friend wonders how she can possibly finish her "to do" list. Another lovely lady carves out family time by doing work-related projects in the wee hours of the morning. I sometimes have this overwhelming feeling like I want to crumple into a heap on the floor and cry. There's so much to do and not all of it is pleasant. The pressures of life sometimes seem to have the upper hand in the daily battle.
Take for instance, those who are dealing with illness, caring for an elderly parent, experiencing loss, dealing with behavioral issues with a child, dealing with betrayal, stressing over unemployment, battling depression or handling interpersonal conflicts. On TOP of the regular day to day duties, nearly everyone has some extenuating circumstance which provides additional pressure.
Most situations are passing and temporary. As the saying goes, the only constant in life is change. I can't tell you how many times I've found refuge in that!
When the proverbial dark cloud lingers over my head, I employ a number of tools to keep myself from ending up in a heap on the floor. One such tool is appreciating simple pleasures.
I LOVE the gleam of sunlight through colored glass, so I keep colored Mason jars in the kitchen where they'll catch the light. As I discussed in a previous blog, MUSIC can be a mood changer for me. If I hear the right song...I go from gray to sunny! I love to watch birds in the yard and enjoy their songs. I love the scent of apples. The feel of soft velvet and silk in my hand makes me smile. How about the taste of gooey cinnamon rolls? Or, OR coconut cream pie? Can you tell I'm getting excited? Then there's the hug of a child who just wanted to be close. The "no conversation needed" eye contact with your spouse. All of these are simple pleasures which add so much joy to my life.
I am sure your list of joy-inducing things is as diverse as the universe. For some, a wagging dog tail is all it takes. For others a good workout brings a smile. Perhaps discovering a treasure in an antique store gets your adrenaline pumping. Others find joy in a glass of good Cabernet and some aged cheese. (That sounds pretty amazing to me too!) A walk on the beach or by a stream might be a mood booster for you. It can be as diverse as knitting, rock climbing, playing piano, photographing nature or mountain biking...whatever it takes to add a spot of happy to your day.
When you are feeling down, try pursuing some simple pleasures to take an active role in diverting your attention away from negativity. These need not cost a dime. They need not take much time either. Just a conscious decision on your part to find pleasure no matter what the situation.
Do you have favorite simple pleasures? Please share some with me!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
August 22, 2012
Please join us
to celebrate
Heartworks of Long Valley's
4th Annversary!
When: Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Time: 7pm
Where: Long Valley Teen Center
If you have never been to a meeting, please consider coming to this casual gathering to learn more about the many opportunities for giving. There is no pressure to do more than you are able. Heartworks is a wonderful group of woman who gather each month to live in gratitude, receive with grace and give with an open heart.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The Power of a Song
The Power of a Song
'When the lights go down, in the city, and the sun shines on the bay..." I hear this song on the radio and it makes me sing along! There are many songs which bring me back to specific memories. I find it fascinating the way a piece of music burrows in one's brain and carries with it feelings, locations, scents, a time frame and so much more.
What song, for instance, has the power to reduce you to tears just by the virtue of coming on the radio? Mysterious in a way. I wonder if the artists who put music out in the world have any concept of the impact they can have? While I appreciate a great singer and songwriter, it isn't all about them and their talent is it? Sometimes it's just the song that was on the radio when something memorable happened.
Picture this, an artist makes an album of dance music. I hear a song while specific circumstances surround me and that song is forever associated with the experience. The song may have relevant words, or may not. The artist/songwriter can reasonably predict that a love song will end up as a wedding song for many people, but could not possibly know other ways the song impacts people. (The song that played while we broke up with a boyfriend, the song that the choir sang at graduation, the 80's song that cracks up my child, the song that makes you want to dance.)
I'll give an example. When I hear the song "Funky Town" I am always brought back to my junior high school days when I was keeping score for the high school softball team. My teacher was the softball coach and he asked for a volunteer to come to games and keep score. I thought it would be fun, plus there would be days I got out of school early to travel with the team to away games. (Bonus!) Bus rides were such fun, despite the fact I was a few years younger than the team. They always blasted music on someone's boom box and most notable was "Funky Town". I can still picture Rosie singing and dancing to this song as the team bonded and prepared for a game.
I know I am not unique in having emotional attachments to songs. I once asked friends about songs that meant a lot to them and the answers varied from special wedding songs, to memories of parents' favorite songs. The power of music!
I have known for a long time that music can put me into a funk or lift my spirits immediately, but I didn't realize the depth of connection that my father had to certain songs until my husband and I married. I hadn't told my father the songs we would play during the ceremony because he's not religious and I thought the songs wouldn't matter to him. Afterward he told me that when the singer began "Ave Maria" he didn't think he could hold it together. I was so surprised he even knew the song! (I was young and stupid then.) I should have known that songs like "Ave Maria" and "How Great Thou Art" and "On Eagles' Wings" carry varied and very deep attachments for many people.
"Well the South side of Chicago, is the baddest part of town..." This is a perfect example of a song/album that Jim Croce put out into the world and created many memories. My cousin Mary and I would listen to Jim Croce and "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" over and over during our weeklong sleepovers. I don't know why we liked it so much...but it doesn't really matter. The song is imbedded in my brain and will forever remind me of hilarious times spent with my cousin. Suddenly I'm right there in Dallastown, PA, laughing till I can't breathe, playing jacks, swimming, eating cereal for a bedtime snack, riding bikes and just being a kid.
Do you have songs that remind you of your father, brother, cousin, first boyfriend, a hurtful situation, a lovely time, your teenage years, your best friends' wedding, college parties, a long lost friend, your children? I would love to hear about those songs and the special memories associated with them.
'When the lights go down, in the city, and the sun shines on the bay..." I hear this song on the radio and it makes me sing along! There are many songs which bring me back to specific memories. I find it fascinating the way a piece of music burrows in one's brain and carries with it feelings, locations, scents, a time frame and so much more.
What song, for instance, has the power to reduce you to tears just by the virtue of coming on the radio? Mysterious in a way. I wonder if the artists who put music out in the world have any concept of the impact they can have? While I appreciate a great singer and songwriter, it isn't all about them and their talent is it? Sometimes it's just the song that was on the radio when something memorable happened.
Picture this, an artist makes an album of dance music. I hear a song while specific circumstances surround me and that song is forever associated with the experience. The song may have relevant words, or may not. The artist/songwriter can reasonably predict that a love song will end up as a wedding song for many people, but could not possibly know other ways the song impacts people. (The song that played while we broke up with a boyfriend, the song that the choir sang at graduation, the 80's song that cracks up my child, the song that makes you want to dance.)
I'll give an example. When I hear the song "Funky Town" I am always brought back to my junior high school days when I was keeping score for the high school softball team. My teacher was the softball coach and he asked for a volunteer to come to games and keep score. I thought it would be fun, plus there would be days I got out of school early to travel with the team to away games. (Bonus!) Bus rides were such fun, despite the fact I was a few years younger than the team. They always blasted music on someone's boom box and most notable was "Funky Town". I can still picture Rosie singing and dancing to this song as the team bonded and prepared for a game.
I know I am not unique in having emotional attachments to songs. I once asked friends about songs that meant a lot to them and the answers varied from special wedding songs, to memories of parents' favorite songs. The power of music!
I have known for a long time that music can put me into a funk or lift my spirits immediately, but I didn't realize the depth of connection that my father had to certain songs until my husband and I married. I hadn't told my father the songs we would play during the ceremony because he's not religious and I thought the songs wouldn't matter to him. Afterward he told me that when the singer began "Ave Maria" he didn't think he could hold it together. I was so surprised he even knew the song! (I was young and stupid then.) I should have known that songs like "Ave Maria" and "How Great Thou Art" and "On Eagles' Wings" carry varied and very deep attachments for many people.
"Well the South side of Chicago, is the baddest part of town..." This is a perfect example of a song/album that Jim Croce put out into the world and created many memories. My cousin Mary and I would listen to Jim Croce and "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" over and over during our weeklong sleepovers. I don't know why we liked it so much...but it doesn't really matter. The song is imbedded in my brain and will forever remind me of hilarious times spent with my cousin. Suddenly I'm right there in Dallastown, PA, laughing till I can't breathe, playing jacks, swimming, eating cereal for a bedtime snack, riding bikes and just being a kid.
Do you have songs that remind you of your father, brother, cousin, first boyfriend, a hurtful situation, a lovely time, your teenage years, your best friends' wedding, college parties, a long lost friend, your children? I would love to hear about those songs and the special memories associated with them.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Respect
Ever think about your list of people you want to emulate? Ever have someone high on the list, only to be disappointed when bad behavior quickly drops them to the OTHER list?
There are a lot of people I respect in one way or another. Don't get me wrong, I don't easily hand out the gift of respect. But for sure, there are many in this world worthy of respect. I am talking about the kind of respect that means I value their opinion, I think they make good choices most of the time, I treasure their company, they provide me with inspiration, or I look to them for leadership in some area of my life. This goes beyond basic respect for someone as a human being.
Consider the friend who stands up for what is right, even when it is not the popular way to go. It takes courage to go against the "popular" crowd. This brave soul who defends the subject of gossip when she has more to lose than gain is deserving of my respect. Integrity is a wonderful thing.
Then there is the person who puts themselves in harm's way through their employment for the betterment of society. This could be someone serving in the military, a police officer, firefighter, social worker, teacher, nurse, and many more. When someone willingly takes on the risk of dealing with dangerous situations, and continues to act with conscience outside of those duties, they are worthy of my respect.
I have a couple of friends who inspire me with their steadfast faith. They respond to each of life's curveballs with testaments of faith. They remind me without saying a word that God is good and in control. These moms teach their children to be kind, compassionate and selfless. I appreciate the example and respect their choices during a time when body piercings can be more important to teens than helping a lonely classmate.
What about the person who reminds me that life is better when you laugh? Yes! As long as the humor is not at someone else's expense, I LOVE to laugh. There is so much humor in the antics of my blue tabby cat, Sapphire. I crack up when my son turns an ordinary moment into a musical, out of the blue! I still laugh out loud when recalling a funny story told by a friend. There is a time for seriousness, but also much value in being nutty.
I like to think that I look for the positive in people. I remind myself that everyone has positive attributes. I'm reminded of a superficial example I heard many years ago...a group of men were conferring about the unattractive qualities of a woman walking by. One man in the group said, "Did you check out those great legs?"
It pisses me off that some cannot see gorgeous green eyes, a fabulous haircut, great bone structure, a fit body, or pretty hands because of other perceived flaws. These are totally surface examples, but it can and should be carried to other qualities. The beautiful spirit of a social worker who makes sure a child is safe before quitting for the day. The fantastic energy of a kindergarten teacher excited for the opportunity to bring her students the gift of reading. Do you notice the gentleness with which a vet cares for your aging pet? What about someone who disregards one's own safety to ensure the last resident is removed from a burning building?
Perhaps we can find parts of people that we can respect. I respect the dedication with which several friends persue fitness. I have respect for those who are consciously trying to reduce their carbon footprint in the world. I am impressed when an acquantance sets a goal and achieves it. Rather than feeling depressed because it was her and not me, I use others' success as proof that it CAN be done! It's encouraging to know that real human beings, not just Hollywood celebs accomplish awesome things. I love that there are people in the world willing to work for animal rights, prosecute human traffickers, track down wanted criminals, dedicate their career to medical advances. One person cannot champion ALL of these areas, but all of us valiantly fighting to reach our goal translates into major world-wide progress toward positivity.
So I ask you to think about those whom you try to emulate. Can you find someone to inspire you in the area of healthy living? Who is your kindness example? Who shows patience when you are ready to burst? Who is your creative inspiration? A spiritual guide? Demonstrate respect toward those people without putting them on a pedestal. It need not be an endorsement of ALL aspects of the person's life. Try to expand your circle by finding the best qualities in all people in your part of the world. I'll bet it changes your feelings about some "iffy" folks.
There are a lot of people I respect in one way or another. Don't get me wrong, I don't easily hand out the gift of respect. But for sure, there are many in this world worthy of respect. I am talking about the kind of respect that means I value their opinion, I think they make good choices most of the time, I treasure their company, they provide me with inspiration, or I look to them for leadership in some area of my life. This goes beyond basic respect for someone as a human being.
Consider the friend who stands up for what is right, even when it is not the popular way to go. It takes courage to go against the "popular" crowd. This brave soul who defends the subject of gossip when she has more to lose than gain is deserving of my respect. Integrity is a wonderful thing.
Then there is the person who puts themselves in harm's way through their employment for the betterment of society. This could be someone serving in the military, a police officer, firefighter, social worker, teacher, nurse, and many more. When someone willingly takes on the risk of dealing with dangerous situations, and continues to act with conscience outside of those duties, they are worthy of my respect.
I have a couple of friends who inspire me with their steadfast faith. They respond to each of life's curveballs with testaments of faith. They remind me without saying a word that God is good and in control. These moms teach their children to be kind, compassionate and selfless. I appreciate the example and respect their choices during a time when body piercings can be more important to teens than helping a lonely classmate.
What about the person who reminds me that life is better when you laugh? Yes! As long as the humor is not at someone else's expense, I LOVE to laugh. There is so much humor in the antics of my blue tabby cat, Sapphire. I crack up when my son turns an ordinary moment into a musical, out of the blue! I still laugh out loud when recalling a funny story told by a friend. There is a time for seriousness, but also much value in being nutty.
I like to think that I look for the positive in people. I remind myself that everyone has positive attributes. I'm reminded of a superficial example I heard many years ago...a group of men were conferring about the unattractive qualities of a woman walking by. One man in the group said, "Did you check out those great legs?"
It pisses me off that some cannot see gorgeous green eyes, a fabulous haircut, great bone structure, a fit body, or pretty hands because of other perceived flaws. These are totally surface examples, but it can and should be carried to other qualities. The beautiful spirit of a social worker who makes sure a child is safe before quitting for the day. The fantastic energy of a kindergarten teacher excited for the opportunity to bring her students the gift of reading. Do you notice the gentleness with which a vet cares for your aging pet? What about someone who disregards one's own safety to ensure the last resident is removed from a burning building?
Perhaps we can find parts of people that we can respect. I respect the dedication with which several friends persue fitness. I have respect for those who are consciously trying to reduce their carbon footprint in the world. I am impressed when an acquantance sets a goal and achieves it. Rather than feeling depressed because it was her and not me, I use others' success as proof that it CAN be done! It's encouraging to know that real human beings, not just Hollywood celebs accomplish awesome things. I love that there are people in the world willing to work for animal rights, prosecute human traffickers, track down wanted criminals, dedicate their career to medical advances. One person cannot champion ALL of these areas, but all of us valiantly fighting to reach our goal translates into major world-wide progress toward positivity.
So I ask you to think about those whom you try to emulate. Can you find someone to inspire you in the area of healthy living? Who is your kindness example? Who shows patience when you are ready to burst? Who is your creative inspiration? A spiritual guide? Demonstrate respect toward those people without putting them on a pedestal. It need not be an endorsement of ALL aspects of the person's life. Try to expand your circle by finding the best qualities in all people in your part of the world. I'll bet it changes your feelings about some "iffy" folks.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Jump In
Do you remember as a kid, standing with hands up in a surrender position, waiting for the perfect time to duck into the jump rope turned by two friends? Bob the head forward...lean back, repeat...until the "right" time.
We find ourselves bobbing forward in life too. Always waiting for the "right" time to get involved, reach out, do something brave. More times than not, we back out, thinking the timing just wasn't right, or that it's safer staying back. Recall the the "surrender" position while waiting for the right time--not very empowering is it?
What situation have you been sticking your head into, but always ducking back out at the last minute? Is there an unresolved quarrel that you'd like to resolve? How about a project that never seems to get finished? Then there's your dream of beginning a gloriously satifying, fulfilling career in a completely different field than practicality lead you to. Think about why you pull out. Reason? Fear? Manners? Procrastination?
Do you feel a tug pulling you to help others? When you receive that tug (through an ad on TV, a slip that came home in the kids' backpack, in church, through a friend) how do you respond? You make decisions based upon time constraints, money realities, loyalties, emotional connections, commitments and sometimes gut reactions. Or do you just say no...automatically...because it's what you do. It's safe, there's no thought involved, OH and it's quick!
If you find yourself standing on the cusp of something you feel drawn to, but are unable to respond in the positive, ask yourself why you tend to pull away. Are your reasons reasonable? Why does this thing draw you in? What is attractive about it? Identifying the attraction can help you determine its value in your life. We could be talking about a gorgeous pair of shoes or a travel destination or a career choice or a family relocation. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to be proactive and not surrender to fear, prejudices or procrastination.
Consider taking the opportunity to consciously add value to various areas of your life. For instance, if family time is sacred to you, but yet you want to help your community, find a way to combine them...perhaps by picking up trash on a walk or by volunteering to do a food drive with the kids. If your business career requires you to travel extensively, but yet you wish to commit more time to developing a cooking blog, utilize your travel time to pick up local cookbooks and spend the evenings writing your blog.
Today I encourage you to jump in...not just bob and weave when presented with daily opportunities to enrich your life!
We find ourselves bobbing forward in life too. Always waiting for the "right" time to get involved, reach out, do something brave. More times than not, we back out, thinking the timing just wasn't right, or that it's safer staying back. Recall the the "surrender" position while waiting for the right time--not very empowering is it?
What situation have you been sticking your head into, but always ducking back out at the last minute? Is there an unresolved quarrel that you'd like to resolve? How about a project that never seems to get finished? Then there's your dream of beginning a gloriously satifying, fulfilling career in a completely different field than practicality lead you to. Think about why you pull out. Reason? Fear? Manners? Procrastination?
Do you feel a tug pulling you to help others? When you receive that tug (through an ad on TV, a slip that came home in the kids' backpack, in church, through a friend) how do you respond? You make decisions based upon time constraints, money realities, loyalties, emotional connections, commitments and sometimes gut reactions. Or do you just say no...automatically...because it's what you do. It's safe, there's no thought involved, OH and it's quick!
If you find yourself standing on the cusp of something you feel drawn to, but are unable to respond in the positive, ask yourself why you tend to pull away. Are your reasons reasonable? Why does this thing draw you in? What is attractive about it? Identifying the attraction can help you determine its value in your life. We could be talking about a gorgeous pair of shoes or a travel destination or a career choice or a family relocation. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to be proactive and not surrender to fear, prejudices or procrastination.
Consider taking the opportunity to consciously add value to various areas of your life. For instance, if family time is sacred to you, but yet you want to help your community, find a way to combine them...perhaps by picking up trash on a walk or by volunteering to do a food drive with the kids. If your business career requires you to travel extensively, but yet you wish to commit more time to developing a cooking blog, utilize your travel time to pick up local cookbooks and spend the evenings writing your blog.
Today I encourage you to jump in...not just bob and weave when presented with daily opportunities to enrich your life!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Fire in South Plainfield
Once you choose hope,
anything's possible.
~Christopher Reeve
As I read the Star-Ledger’s front page yesterday, I thought I would be able to read the full article about the South Plainfield fire that claimed the lives of four children and a grandmother. Truth is, I couldn’t. This doesn’t happen often. I was filled with such sadness for Natalie Jefferson. She is the grief-stricken mother who lost four of her children and her mother that tragic day.
Please light a candle, say a prayer, do an act of kindness for a child or elderly person, send thoughts of comfort. Natalie Jefferson has been dealt a terrible hand and the only way I can see myself going through my day of mundane tasks is to put some kindness into the world. Am I trying to create karmic balance? -- put positive in the world to balance the negative? Maybe. I realize there’s not enough good in the world to “make up for” the loss she’s suffered. There is no “making up for” such a tragedy. But my options as a stranger who doesn’t know Natalie are these: ignore the loss because she’s a stranger not in my little “world”, succumb to the notion that the world is tragically flawed and goodness/kindness are quaint vestiges of a bygone era, OR bring myself closer to Natalie taking upon myself a molecule of the pain she feels.
So I will light a candle for Natalie’s family: her mother Annie, age 62, and children Aliza, age 12, Tyler, age 7, Christopher, age 5, and Elijah, age 2. My hope is that you would find a spiritual practice that touches your soul and find a way to include this South Plainfield family.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Making a Difference
Do you ever wonder WHY? How many times in your life were you left wondering what was going on, why did this happen, am I going to get through this? Ever question whether what you do makes a difference? Sometimes we get so dejected in the midst of our circumstances that we DON’T see how any decision of ours will change ANYTHING. The blinders of sadness, anger, negativity and self-pity prevent us from seeing the global view. Mother Teresa certainly knew that each small action made a difference in the world as she showed kindness in the direst circumstances.
I know some people remark “What good will it do to reach out to someone who has lost a child or is in the last stages of life? Nothing will change those circumstances!” While I agree that those tragic life events will not be reversed, I DO believe that hope can be shared, comfort brought to the sick/grieving and lonely. Nurses, hospice workers, ministers, food bank volunteers, rescue workers and so many more build their lives and careers on that premise! We, as Heartworkers, must believe that what we do MAKES A DIFFERENCE on many levels. Heartworks has changed lives – I know it for a fact!
Jennifer, we will never forget your kindnesses when our Joey died. I will pray for little Juliana & her family. The greatest loss of all. Is there anything we can do? Or donate? Of course your mission of random acts of kindness continue 2 guide my daily life. Love to you & Heartworks. Deb
The above note is from Debra Daniels, the mother of Joey Daniels, a boy who died more than a year ago after sustaining injuries in a jet ski accident. The note was in response to a notice on facebook that Juliana Moreno had passed away. What did we do for Debra and her husband John? Oh nothing much. We simply did an act of kindness in Joey’s name and documented it in a booklet for these grieving parents to see what an inspiration their little boy was. It hardly took any time for any single Heartworker, these small acts, these decisions to respond positively to a negative circumstance, and yet it helped Debra and John through the nightmare of losing their only son. The difference is LOVE. The more it is spread around like a thick coating of honey, the sweeter life is.
So let’s re-align ourselves so that we respond with LOVE to those who are hurting, sick, grieving or lonely. Those whom Heartworks reaches, may be questioning “WHY” or “Am I going to get through this?” Let us be the warm blanket of comfort, the cup of relaxing tea and the peaceful dove for them.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Kindness Temperature
As Heartworkers, we share a desire to make this world a kinder, more loving place. How have you been accomplishing this? Take your kindness temperature today. Are you content with your efforts? With a gentle eye, take a closer look at your thoughts, words and actions and see if you’ve been aligned with your intentions for yourself. Lovingly remind yourself that each day is an opportunity to move in the direction of your goals.
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