Perceptions

April 4, 2011

Ever drive by a house--big, gorgeous, perfectly manicured, dramatically lit, luxury car in the circular driveway-- and think "Man, they have got it ALL together!"  I have allowed myself from time to time to assume that all must be well in this family's world.  It is so easy, right?  They must have this wonderful life filled with vacations, expensive restaurant dinners, parties with "important people", financial freedom, and on and on.

But I have to stop myself and consciously allow reality back into this fantasy.  It is, after all, a fantasy that my mind has created to make me feel small, insignificant and not good enough.  If your eyes are open to life as it IS and not as you conceive that it is, you will realize that every person who walks this earth has a struggle of some sort.

This levels the playing field.  This dramatically changes EVERYTHING!  I no longer can hear through a friend of someone who has lost a parent, child or sibling and feel nothing.  I can't walk away from someone near me who is helping her child get through treatment for cancer.

The struggles, heartache, indecision, pain, isolation and hurt feelings that come with life events are universal.  We all feel them at one time or another.  That family in the gorgeous house deals with just as many divorces, illnesses, strained relationships, abusive situations and car accidents as anyone else. 

Anyone who says..."No, I've always felt like I belonged, never felt alone or hurt." is lying. (perhaps even to themselves.)  Each person, when dealing with events that life gives them, has at one time or another, felt alone, unloved, hurt.  Even if you married the first person you ever loved.  Even if you are blessed to have both parents alive today.  Even if you've been blessed with good health, never been abused, have exceptional children, wear a size 2, got into the best university, or were captain of the cheerleading squad!

Yes, everyone on this earth has felt the way I felt when I walked into Steigel Elementary School in the second grade, knowing no one, feeling like I just wanted to go back to my old town and school or crawl in a hole.  You know that twisting feeling in your stomach?  You know those racing thoughts--"Where's the nearest exit?"  "Why did I wear this dumb outfit?"  "Why is my dang hair sticking out on the side?"  "Why won't someone other than the teacher talk to me?"

And then it happens...Jen Rosenberry approaches and says "We have the same name."  The conversation goes on from there, other kids realize I don't carry a deadly disease and they talk to me too.  My day got better.  Reality as I knew it changed because someone made a decision to reach out when it was just as easy to walk away.  I realize I am significant and good enough.  (And maybe my outfit isn't so dumb)

So next time I drive by the mini-mansion that belongs on the cover of House Beautiful magazine, I will bless them as I remember they struggle with the same feelings and life events I am or will or have already dealt with.